What It Is

Jeff Foxworthy defines "redneck" as "a complete lack of sophistication. Maybe not all the time, but I guarantee that at some time in your life, you have been a redneck."

Some of us more than others.

Being a redneck does not always mean doing dumbass stunts, and doing dumbass stunts does not make you a redneck, but hey, it's pretty unsophisticated when you use upended two-by-fours as jackstands for your truck and don't stop to worry about the possible consequences. Being a redneck doesn't mean you're poor, nor do you need to be trailer trash. But if you grew up in a single-wide practicing your baseball pitches with rocks on your dad's empties, you might be a redneck.

Not every redneck drinks. But a lot of us do. Not because we're alcoholics, but because it's social. We're not all stupid, nor are we all Southern. We do, however, do what it takes to get it done (whatever that is) and don't give a rat's ass about what you think of how we did it.

This is for those of you who need new ideas on how to solve your problems the redneck way.

This is for those of you who are wondering if you might be a redneck.

This is to share your daily redneck moments, no matter who you are. I know high-class, college-educated people who have a redneck moment almost every few weeks and aren't scared to admit it. I also know a four-year-old who wolfs down Thanksgiving dinner so he can go "Blow shit up" out back with his daddy.

Redneck Woman

Contact

The author of this blog can be reached at Dwyer43@msn.com on a daily basis. Send me a note that you dropped by, and definitely leave comments, opinions, questions, suggestions. You didn't like it? Tell me that, too. Want me to add a new page funtionality? Lemme know. Comprende?

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Saturday, January 5, 2008

AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!

My most articulate title yet. I just went to get some food out of the fridge, and what do I find? The fucking thermometer has fallen apart. Not only had it fallen apart, but it had then gotten frozen to the inside of the fridge. So now, our fridge freezes stuff when we don't want it to, made a thermometer designed to go to -20 crack, stuck said thermometer to the fridge wall with a layer of ice, and I still can't find my favorite shot glass that's in there somewhere.

My solution? I went outside, took the thermometer off the porch, put it in a freezer size Ziploc, and put that in the fridge. It's temporary, until we buy a new fridge thermometer. It'll be in there a while. Outside, I know it's darn cold. In the fridge, I need to be more specific.

What else? Oh, yes. I have recorded a small blues album. And I saw on the news that Purgatory freezes over at night this time of the year. This means that if I can ever get it off the master tapes and into mp3 format, I may consider getting a myspace page to put it on. Can anyone help me with this problem? Is there a program or something? How do I do analog to digital?

Speaking of music, you need to hear this band, everyone. No redneck is complete without his bluegrass and/or country. Johnny 3 Note. Unfortunately you missed "Tear my Still House Down" which was basically the best song ever, but if you ask nicely they might put it back up. They play every Thursday, I think, at White Fence Farm, admission free. You will be blown away.

In other news, Taylor, no one told you about that song because we thought you knew. Sorry.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I have no clue how to get music onto the computer, but when you get it on, I'll set up your MySpace if you'd like.

January 9, 2008 at 7:19 AM

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