What It Is

Jeff Foxworthy defines "redneck" as "a complete lack of sophistication. Maybe not all the time, but I guarantee that at some time in your life, you have been a redneck."

Some of us more than others.

Being a redneck does not always mean doing dumbass stunts, and doing dumbass stunts does not make you a redneck, but hey, it's pretty unsophisticated when you use upended two-by-fours as jackstands for your truck and don't stop to worry about the possible consequences. Being a redneck doesn't mean you're poor, nor do you need to be trailer trash. But if you grew up in a single-wide practicing your baseball pitches with rocks on your dad's empties, you might be a redneck.

Not every redneck drinks. But a lot of us do. Not because we're alcoholics, but because it's social. We're not all stupid, nor are we all Southern. We do, however, do what it takes to get it done (whatever that is) and don't give a rat's ass about what you think of how we did it.

This is for those of you who need new ideas on how to solve your problems the redneck way.

This is for those of you who are wondering if you might be a redneck.

This is to share your daily redneck moments, no matter who you are. I know high-class, college-educated people who have a redneck moment almost every few weeks and aren't scared to admit it. I also know a four-year-old who wolfs down Thanksgiving dinner so he can go "Blow shit up" out back with his daddy.

Redneck Woman

Contact

The author of this blog can be reached at Dwyer43@msn.com on a daily basis. Send me a note that you dropped by, and definitely leave comments, opinions, questions, suggestions. You didn't like it? Tell me that, too. Want me to add a new page funtionality? Lemme know. Comprende?

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Tuesday, January 1, 2008

You don't have room to talk

Let's talk about eligibility. About having room to talk.

If you moved to Phoenix and stayed for 20 years without air conditioning, you are not eligible to complain about the thermostat being set too high.

If your definition of "High Definition" is when you can see at least half the picture, you are not allowed to compare VHS to DVD or Blu-ray.

If you wear velvet regularly, you are not qualified to say "You're going out in that?!"

If you eat fast food, no complaining about restaurant food.

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If your moving boxes are liquor boxes, There's no "might" about it, you are a redneck.

Speaking of liquor, some rednecks save money on hard cider by buying non-alcoholic and letting it ferment.

New year's parties: the redneck way. In fact, this applies to any wintertime party, and cooking in general. When there is a foot of snow outside, having to --and especially voluntarily-- going outside to cook dinner implies that you are unsophisticated, and probably don't think all the way through whether or not things are a good idea. Especially if you do said cooking in a t-shirt.

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While I'm on the topic of New Year's, these folks have come up with a great video about the proper way to do New Year's resolutions.
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