What It Is

Jeff Foxworthy defines "redneck" as "a complete lack of sophistication. Maybe not all the time, but I guarantee that at some time in your life, you have been a redneck."

Some of us more than others.

Being a redneck does not always mean doing dumbass stunts, and doing dumbass stunts does not make you a redneck, but hey, it's pretty unsophisticated when you use upended two-by-fours as jackstands for your truck and don't stop to worry about the possible consequences. Being a redneck doesn't mean you're poor, nor do you need to be trailer trash. But if you grew up in a single-wide practicing your baseball pitches with rocks on your dad's empties, you might be a redneck.

Not every redneck drinks. But a lot of us do. Not because we're alcoholics, but because it's social. We're not all stupid, nor are we all Southern. We do, however, do what it takes to get it done (whatever that is) and don't give a rat's ass about what you think of how we did it.

This is for those of you who need new ideas on how to solve your problems the redneck way.

This is for those of you who are wondering if you might be a redneck.

This is to share your daily redneck moments, no matter who you are. I know high-class, college-educated people who have a redneck moment almost every few weeks and aren't scared to admit it. I also know a four-year-old who wolfs down Thanksgiving dinner so he can go "Blow shit up" out back with his daddy.

Redneck Woman

Contact

The author of this blog can be reached at Dwyer43@msn.com on a daily basis. Send me a note that you dropped by, and definitely leave comments, opinions, questions, suggestions. You didn't like it? Tell me that, too. Want me to add a new page funtionality? Lemme know. Comprende?

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Friday, November 30, 2007

Reposted from www.asofterworld.com

Why, you ask, am I reposting a story told by Joey of A Softer World fame fame on a blog dedicated to crap relating to rednecks? I'll tell you why. Because I felt like it. I have other reasons, though. Resons like the fact that if you pull that sort of stunt in real life, you will have a deer hunting accident. Or wander in front of an errant train. Or maybe just get your ass kicked so bad you'll feel it after you're dead. See if you can relate to the man's frustration as the tool on the other end pulls all of this.


Yesterday I played chess on the internet against a stranger.
He kept saying "Hurry up. Why u so slow? this isn't poker." Poker? "Yea. this
isn't poker or checkers. Move." Poker and checkers are both faster games than
chess, I told him. Chess is a thinking game. "No. why u think grandmasters
always only play w clock?" So, I played faster than I'm used to, and made some
serious mistakes. He was making mistakes too, but I was only seeing them
afterward. It is very frustrating to lose against someone you know you could
beat. I was down a bishop and a knight, and I resigned. "Too bad your no good."
he said. We started another game. "That's ur move? are you really stupid?" and I
played more aggressively than I should have. I got excited, and lost my queen
because I wasn't looking. This is two games in a row I lost, and I wanted to
win. I told him, one more game. "ur funeral." he said.I took my time. I thought
about my moves and I thought about his moves and I put the pressure on, slowly.
When I get angry, I become very careful. I don't know if that's how you get
angry. I become very careful and very focused. When he started trading pieces,
he made mistakes. With every exchange I got a little something. A pawn. Some
space in the center. He kept wasting moves, retreating his pieces. And then I
got him. He had no move. He was going to lose a rook for a pawn. So you know
what he did? He said "I am going to let you win, so that you can be happi about
winning 1 game at least." and he moved his queen to where I could take it for
nothing. I got so angry. I told him to take his move back, but he said, "no I
said you could win."So, what could I do? I resigned. Chess is very serious
business, by the way.
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