What It Is

Jeff Foxworthy defines "redneck" as "a complete lack of sophistication. Maybe not all the time, but I guarantee that at some time in your life, you have been a redneck."

Some of us more than others.

Being a redneck does not always mean doing dumbass stunts, and doing dumbass stunts does not make you a redneck, but hey, it's pretty unsophisticated when you use upended two-by-fours as jackstands for your truck and don't stop to worry about the possible consequences. Being a redneck doesn't mean you're poor, nor do you need to be trailer trash. But if you grew up in a single-wide practicing your baseball pitches with rocks on your dad's empties, you might be a redneck.

Not every redneck drinks. But a lot of us do. Not because we're alcoholics, but because it's social. We're not all stupid, nor are we all Southern. We do, however, do what it takes to get it done (whatever that is) and don't give a rat's ass about what you think of how we did it.

This is for those of you who need new ideas on how to solve your problems the redneck way.

This is for those of you who are wondering if you might be a redneck.

This is to share your daily redneck moments, no matter who you are. I know high-class, college-educated people who have a redneck moment almost every few weeks and aren't scared to admit it. I also know a four-year-old who wolfs down Thanksgiving dinner so he can go "Blow shit up" out back with his daddy.

Redneck Woman

Contact

The author of this blog can be reached at Dwyer43@msn.com on a daily basis. Send me a note that you dropped by, and definitely leave comments, opinions, questions, suggestions. You didn't like it? Tell me that, too. Want me to add a new page funtionality? Lemme know. Comprende?

Allright folks, just click to say you visited.

The reason MTV still exists -- and he still rocks


Don't forget my politics and off-topic blog.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

My name's Jean, I am a politics junkie, and I do not have a survey problem.

Seriously. The only things that I will not tape over to record a political event are motor races, music, and home movies. I would probably tape over porn to record the '08 election results (one tape for every news network, mixed down to one after the night is over) if I ran out of blank tapes, and had porn on tape.

Being the politics junkie that I am, I am a huge fan of this blog, which delves into the math of the elections. I love math, too. Math is delicious. Give me politics, math, and motorcycles, and I will never leave. Give me any two of the above (Paul Sr. from OCC should run for president), and I will be happy all day.

As for my survey problem, unlike some people I know, I do not have one. I am not addicted. But when I ran into this one, I had to try it. You will probably not be finding all of Side 4 on myspace, as I can't get my bloody master tapes digitized. (If you --anyone-- could teach me how to digitize music, especially in quadrophonic but stereo and monophonic are fine, you would be my hero and I will send you cash).

DIRECTIONS:Go to the Wikipedia home page and click "random article". That is your band's name.
Click random article again; that is your album name.
Click random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your album.

Now, being a fan of 5 minute and longer songs, this would have to be a double-LP. Yes, I do mean vinyl.

Band name: Recoil. That is so badass, I wish I had thought of it.

Album name: Ralstonia Metallidurans (Say that five times fast.)

Side 1:
1. Stopping Power
2. Capitoline Triad
3. Aubin Nom (I took the liberty of taking wikipedia's (name) and translating it)

Side 2:
1. Pogonia Coat of Arms
2. Komatsu 830E
3. Penken
4. Mayrhofen

Side 3:
1. Minnesota's 5th congressional district (okaaay.... wait, I can write a song for that!)
2. Duke of Brunswick-Lunenburg
3. John Jasperse (I can totally write a song for that, too.)
4. Coventry Bears

Side 4:
1. USS Camden (AOE-2) ( I may drop the AOE-2 bit for the song...)
2. Seagate ST1 (Dude, 12-gigabytes?! That small?!)
3. Slade Hall (this would be fun to wite, too)
4. Burns Flat (I'm dropping the Oklahoma part)
5. Rocketplane Kistler

You know what I just learned reading about Burns Flat? "It is near the Clinton-Sherman Industrial Airpark which is a licenced spaceport expecting to start commercial manned spaceflight starting in 2008." HOLY CRAP! I was not informed.

I seriously cannot wait to go record the songs for Side 4. Just because ya'll will never hear them is because ya'll are lazy, and need to ask people. I've already asked people. They tried to sell me a new recording machine, after having been the ones to sell me my beloved four-track.
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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey. Hey. I do not have a problem. If you're gonna be secretly accusing me of things, I've got a Noodles addiction. And where did you even find this? Cuz this is the best survey I've ever seen. I am totally gonna do it now.
P.S. I really like how, when you leave a comment on here, when it asks for a name, it says "Choose an identity". That's just amusing.

January 14, 2008 at 9:26 PM

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