What It Is

Jeff Foxworthy defines "redneck" as "a complete lack of sophistication. Maybe not all the time, but I guarantee that at some time in your life, you have been a redneck."

Some of us more than others.

Being a redneck does not always mean doing dumbass stunts, and doing dumbass stunts does not make you a redneck, but hey, it's pretty unsophisticated when you use upended two-by-fours as jackstands for your truck and don't stop to worry about the possible consequences. Being a redneck doesn't mean you're poor, nor do you need to be trailer trash. But if you grew up in a single-wide practicing your baseball pitches with rocks on your dad's empties, you might be a redneck.

Not every redneck drinks. But a lot of us do. Not because we're alcoholics, but because it's social. We're not all stupid, nor are we all Southern. We do, however, do what it takes to get it done (whatever that is) and don't give a rat's ass about what you think of how we did it.

This is for those of you who need new ideas on how to solve your problems the redneck way.

This is for those of you who are wondering if you might be a redneck.

This is to share your daily redneck moments, no matter who you are. I know high-class, college-educated people who have a redneck moment almost every few weeks and aren't scared to admit it. I also know a four-year-old who wolfs down Thanksgiving dinner so he can go "Blow shit up" out back with his daddy.

Redneck Woman

Contact

The author of this blog can be reached at Dwyer43@msn.com on a daily basis. Send me a note that you dropped by, and definitely leave comments, opinions, questions, suggestions. You didn't like it? Tell me that, too. Want me to add a new page funtionality? Lemme know. Comprende?

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Monday, June 9, 2008

You coming to the rave in the DC-9 tomorrow night?

"We laid rubber on the Georgia asphalt. Got a little crazy but we never got caught. Down by the river on a Friday night, pyramid of cans in the pale moonlight. Talkin' 'bout cars and dreamin' 'bout women. Never had a plan, just a-livin' for the minute!" --Alan Jackson, Chattahoochee

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It can be incredibly stressful to be in a combat situation for months on end. A lot of the time, the only way to stay sane is to go a little bit crazy. What would you do when you're off-duty? How about on-duty?

Some pilots, just for the fun of it, would get buck naked over Kuwait in the first Gulf War. Ever been in the cockpit of a fighter? From the looks of it, that would be tough but not impossible. That's what the cruise control is for.

On the Carl Vinson, pilots and trainees joke that the soft serve ice cream that comes out of the machine in the mess hall is dog feces. Now that I think about it, the way it comes out of the machine does bear a striking resemblence. I don't think I'll have soft-serve ice cream for a while.

Dark humor really is the only way to deal with the fear and stress of walking the line between life and death, where the only way you get to stay on this side of it is by working out your own salvation. When you're climbing a rock face that will take you more than one day, you'd have to sleep in a suspended sleeping bag called a bivvy sack. Mountain rescue workers call body bags "long term bivvy sacks." macabre, but necessary.

So that's really the only way I can explain these guys. They may be flying a mission, but that doesn't mean that they can't goof off a little, too. I think this is a very good reason that military airplanes should not have CD players. Of course, tank guys found a way to patch a CD player into the onboard audio, so you never know...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGl0LNohfb4

The embed code is acting up again. Just for reference, that is a C-130 cargo plane the're flying. Or not flying...
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