This Might Staple You in the Face.

Today, I reupholstered a chair. My friend Sarah's computer chair was well... showing it's age, and the requisite use and abuse. Specifically, having been close to three small children.

It was time.

Naturally, we decided this at eleven thirty at night.

I'm sure that what Sarah's mother, attempting to sleep in the next room heard was something like "I don't know what that goes with. Maybe this fabric? No. This one? Eww. Hmm... OH! I know what this sort of pattern is good for. UPHOLSTERY!"

"Eww."

"No, not huge chairs. Like the seat on your computer chair."

(Silence)

(Already dismantling the chair) "Let's reupholster it!"

(Silence)

(Ka-CHUNK. Ka-Chunk kachunk kachunk. BAM! Bam Bam Bam! Ba-Bam! .... Taptaptaptap. .... kaChunk.)

"This might staple you in the face."

Bap bapbapbap.

"Let's go get a hammer."

The chair turned out great. Nobody got stapled, accidentaly or otherwise, and it looks professional. Kachunk is now a verb. We did make an unholy racket, but really, isn't any time always the right time to use the staple gun?

(Note from the honorary hick Sarah: Now it needs paint... And at least the staple gun wasn't a chainsaw.)

I've been busy

Perhaps it's a little tough to read, so here's a zoomed-in version:



FEATURED! I am extremely proud of myself right now, to have written a featured instructable. Maybe my first two 'ibles ever weren't featured, unlike my buddy Skunkbait, but then again the rest of mine have been quick and tossed together. So again, hooray for having my first "serious" 'ible featured!

In other news, meet my second-favorite fish blog.

Wristwatch motorcycles

I just ran across this post showing all sorts of motorcycles, made entirely of old wristwatch parts. They are amazing in their detail, even when the artist took liberties with the laws of physics. The sheer aura of coolness is overwhelming.

If I can't get one of these pre-made, I need to go make friends with a watch repairer and try and build one myself.

The redneck to-do list

First of all, I would like to know how I wound up with the honey-do list. I was snaking the drain of a sink I don't even use today when I realized, "Holy crap, I've been doing stuff my mom has been nagging my dad to do. When did that happen?"

So to counteract and delay the honey-do list's evils of pulling weeds, returning dog shit to our neighbor's yard where the little shitter lives, cleaning dishes that have been soaking against my explicit request, and watering the lawn, I have drawn up my own official to-do list, which is as follows.

1. Complete portable jacob's ladder for sparking motorcycle helmet
2. Get another motorcycle
3. Get it running
4. Go to the Rocky Mountain Concours d'Elegance and dig the Munro Special '20 Indian Scout 45
5. Get the rest of our motorcycles running
6. Join a high school rugby team
7. Aquire and hotrod a 50cc scooter to do an honest 55 for any sustained period of time, more than once
8. Attach a tow hitch to our Olds
9. Hotrod the Olds
10. Get Brushfire Customs off the ground as a business
11. Graduate high school
12. Build a machine to race up Pikes Peak

I'm not sure whether those are in chronological order or by drop-everything-else-and-do-it priority, but whatever. There's some NASCAR-watching, NHRA-following, family reunions, shooting, barbequeing, wild-game-eating, and all that in there, too, but that's kind of par for the course, y'know?

The space toilet is broken

And I find this absolutely hilarious. I'm familiar with the havoc that a broken toilet can wreak upon and earthbound family. I wonder what the plumbing bill is to fix a toilet thousands of miles up in space? I tell you what, though, if you can get your toilet fixed any time of any day here on earth if you call the right company, they ought to be able to fix the space toilet.