What It Is

Jeff Foxworthy defines "redneck" as "a complete lack of sophistication. Maybe not all the time, but I guarantee that at some time in your life, you have been a redneck."

Some of us more than others.

Being a redneck does not always mean doing dumbass stunts, and doing dumbass stunts does not make you a redneck, but hey, it's pretty unsophisticated when you use upended two-by-fours as jackstands for your truck and don't stop to worry about the possible consequences. Being a redneck doesn't mean you're poor, nor do you need to be trailer trash. But if you grew up in a single-wide practicing your baseball pitches with rocks on your dad's empties, you might be a redneck.

Not every redneck drinks. But a lot of us do. Not because we're alcoholics, but because it's social. We're not all stupid, nor are we all Southern. We do, however, do what it takes to get it done (whatever that is) and don't give a rat's ass about what you think of how we did it.

This is for those of you who need new ideas on how to solve your problems the redneck way.

This is for those of you who are wondering if you might be a redneck.

This is to share your daily redneck moments, no matter who you are. I know high-class, college-educated people who have a redneck moment almost every few weeks and aren't scared to admit it. I also know a four-year-old who wolfs down Thanksgiving dinner so he can go "Blow shit up" out back with his daddy.

Redneck Woman

Contact

The author of this blog can be reached at Dwyer43@msn.com on a daily basis. Send me a note that you dropped by, and definitely leave comments, opinions, questions, suggestions. You didn't like it? Tell me that, too. Want me to add a new page funtionality? Lemme know. Comprende?

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The reason MTV still exists -- and he still rocks


Friday, April 25, 2008

The Last Honest Place in America

Have you ever gotten a wrong-number phone call from a pharmacy saying your prescription is ready? Did you call them back and inform them that you don't have a prescription there, and they have the wrong number? Why?

How about when you got your photos back from the one-hour-photo place; have you ever gotten someone else's by mistake? Even if you had all of yours, did you go back and tell the people at the photo shop? Did you try and find the person and inform them that you had their photos and were giving them to the photo place until they can come pick them up? Did that person call you back and thank you? That took effort, why'd ya'll do it?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, might it be because you know that whatever you had really meant something to somebody?

See, like all ya'll rednecks already know, we were raised to know right from wrong, and to always do the right thing. Sometimes we slip and do some evil, but when it comes to hurting someone we don't know just by being lazy, we can't really live with ourselves until we set things right. The "well, the other person might be an asshole and deserve it" theory doesn't really hold water. When you do the right thing, you'll meet good people.

Recently, I accidentally received an envelope of another lady's photos when I went to get my latest batch developed. Rather than ignore them, or do the easy thing and throw them away like she expected whoever had them would do, I made a point of returning them to Costco's photodesk and calling her and letting her know that I had gotten the photos and returned them to the photodesk. She was so glad she called and thanked me profusely, but that's not the point. The point is, she had photos of her son she thought she'd never see again, and my conscience is no longer nagging me, "Hurry up, don't just ignore them, they mean something to someone. That's what you'd want."

Turns out she is a very nice lady, and didn't think modern big-city people would help her. Apparently, though, she has lost jewelry at that same Costco before, and it was returned to the lost and found promptly. Who'd have thunk? We rednecks do like to look out for each other.

Do a good deed, accept a good deed, pay it forward.